Mothers who have experienced child loss are building new thriving lives with new dreams and new hope in a way that still honors and celebrates their child's life.
They're open to new possibilities and ready for life transformations that delivers more than coping skills or temporary bandages for the heart.
They know it's going to require patience, and some mindset shifts to push through life circumstances, crises, and crashes.
Bereaved mothers from all walks of life are rediscovering a new whole way to live after losing a child.
I get her because I am her. I was there.
I'm a mother of two sons and a grandmother. I didn't sign up for this club either. But here I am.
I know first-hand the struggle of living a life after losing your child. I lost my 29-year old son, and 10-month old grandson, at the hands of a drunk and drugged driver in 2016.
Yes, just like that, my soul had been ripped out of me…twice. I lost big chunks of my heart, my life, and my dreams.
It was the most gut-wrenching and debilitating experience I have ever felt in my life. My mind and body couldn't process the emotions that bombarded my heart.
I shut down. I was numb. I couldn't sleep, my energy was non-existent, and my immune system weakened.
I couldn't work. I'd walk around my home in a daze forgetting my daily routines. It came to the point that I had to put sticky notes everywhere just to keep my sanity.
My youngest son was struggling to understand the depth of his pain. While helping him grieve, I put myself in survival mode.
- I started each day, dreading the struggle of trying to keep my emotions in check.
- I wanted to take care of myself and my family, but all I felt like doing was crawl back into bed and shelter myself.
- I endured unnatural hair loss and toggled between weight loss and weight gain.
- I suffered through sleepless nights, overtiredness, and lacking the energy I needed to push through the day.
- I had emotional outbursts, crying episodes, and knee-bending breakdowns in public.
- I became frustrated with family and friends because they didn't understand that my loss is now a part of me, and I was no longer the same person.
It took some time, but I knew that after being told that a bereaved mom doesn't start healing from the loss of her child for 5-10 years, I had to figure a way out quickly. There was no way that I was going to wait that long.
And then, my journey began.
I embarked on a journey to grace, gratitude, and giggles.
I kept myself secluded and read lots of books on grief, followed podcasts, and read blogs. I tried desperately to find answers to move towards that new norm I kept hearing about.
I attended grief groups and therapy sessions. I spent thousands trying to figure this grief thing out.
Instead, I found myself circling in the same stagnant space over and over again. See, something was missing in the programs. I wasn't moving forward. I became caught up in a deep dark dungeon of never-ending pain.
That's not a price that I want to pay for my loss. I'm okay with pain. But, I was wasn't living. I'd prefer to honor my son and grandson by pursuing life. My youngest son deserved to have his mother whole again.
So, I ditched the one-size-fits-all grief sessions and trained as a grief and life coach (because you can't have one without the other).
With my combined training, holistic wellness certification, and the Yale courses on wellness, I plunged into the study of emotions and behaviors.
I re-evaluated my life piece-by-piece. I took control. I used a holistic approach to embrace all that I am and all of my emotions–all the good and all the not-so-great.
My relationships became stronger, and my work became more purposeful. I began to smile wider and laugh harder. I could feel my heart become full again. I was no longer surviving. I was living and thriving.
And yet, I was still okay with the ugly cries.
Her Journey to Grace was born out of my frustration of the isolated focus of traditional treatment, grief groups, and community programs.
But, please don't get me wrong. I was supported, heard, and sometimes comforted. I am grateful because that was my starting point to get me to where I am today and be here with you.
I am also grateful to all the compassionate blogs, books, and online communities that helped me comprehend what I was feeling was normal; and gave me a voice to express those normal feelings. But how long is that normal? There was no map to move forward.
I needed to redefine who I am (because I wasn't the same), create new personal goals (that included the loved ones I lost), rebuild a new life, and support my youngest son.
I was determined to craft a gentle, steady path for mothers to follow, which includes big chunks of wisdom, lots of faith, and a little bit of science.
The bereaved life can be a lonely one. So, I wanted to build a unique community for bereaved mothers where they can have a safe space to move forward and not feel ashamed, guilty, or regret doing so. A place for sensitive hearts that isn't just for support and compassion, but also personal growth and life-planning. A place where bereaved mothers are the victors of their stories, not the victims of circumstances.
Victory fosters peace
So, I designed a multifaceted membership and an interactive virtual experience to guide bereaved mothers through every aspect of their lives. Mothers can start their journey to rebuilding their new life with new dreams and new hope. They get to find pockets of beauty in their everyday.
Mothers get to customize their journey through grief, discover a new sense of self, rewrite new chapters, and create more joy in their hearts.
One of my greatest pleasures is to spend my days helping other passionate and resilient bereaved mothers to take ownership of their lives and choose to become the hero of their life stories.
Why I do what I do
I know what it feels like when grief slowly eats away at every part of our spiritual and physical being.
I know what it does to our health, finances, relationships, and social life when we don't actively participate in rebuilding our lives.
I know that we don't have to live in pain continuously, and we can go beyond surviving the day-to-day struggles of grief. We can self-adjust and rest as many times as life calls upon us to do so.
I know there is a whole new way to live no matter what happens in our lifetime. And life will happen again and again.
I live by a few core beliefs
I believe we are capable of self-coaching ourselves to create a fully nourished life that is bold and beautiful.
I believe that with major mindset shifting and the understanding of emotional concepts, we are capable of building the muscle to climb our way out of the darkness and into the life we choose.
I believe that there is no getting over our loss, but I also believe that each day is a new day to strengthen our spirits, live our truth, and be better in all that we are.
In case you wanted to know a bit more.
I am not an expert, a doctor, or a therapist [in case you were wondering]. My coaching certifications include holistic wellness, life, and grief. But really, certifications don't mean anything in my book. It's mastering the training, fine-tuning my God-given talents, and learning from my life's experiences that matter most.
I'm fascinated with emotional concepts and how the brain works [in case you were wondering].
I'm currently pursuing my dream profession as a fine artist and writer after 37 years of believing in the starving artist myth. See, mindset is critical, and faith is everything!
I own a tax preparation and bookkeeping firm. I owned a graphic art, website design, and digital marketing agency for eight years. Before that, I bootstrapped, side-hustled, and freelanced while I homeschooled my youngest son for nine years. Wait. Before that, I worked in New York City Tech, Law, and Public Relations firms during my 20-year corporate accounting career.
In 2010, my youngest son and I left NYC to chase the sun. My oldest left to pursue his track career. We lived in Georgia for eight years then moved to Florida three years after my loss.
I love baking, the beach, and all things Disney. I'm a health food nut with a green smoothie addiction. My son and I make it our business to see blockbuster movies on opening night in the dine-in-movie theatre style settings.
I live my life and run my business with love and faith. I'm on a journey with no destination because I experience more giggles that way.
Find Beauty in Your Everyday
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